7-11's New Machine Serves Mashed Potatoes Like Slurpees
7-11 is probably one of the least-appreciated innovators in the field of modern gastronomy. After all, where would we be without the invention of buffalo chicken rollers, Bacon & Cheese Potato Stix, or the chili-cheese vending machine and public-view hot dog rotator? That’s right, nowhere. Amazingly, the forward-thinking food purveyor has done it again, with perhaps their most ingenious invention to date: the mashed potato machine.
It seems to have been inspired by the wild success of the Slurpee — adjacent to the beloved Slurpee machines is a similar-looking machine that, with the push of a few buttons, dispenses any amount of mashed potatoes you desire.
For a minimal extra cost, you can even get those taters drenched in chicken gravy. The whole idea is one stop short of mixing the two together into a Slurpee-consistency drink you can slurp through a straw (which no one is stopping you from doing, if you’re so inclined).
If you are for some reason confused by this offering, 7-11 suggests a Combo deal in which you get a Big Gulp and a heaping side of mashed potatoes. Exactly the sort of sensible and well-rounded meal we’ve been waiting for 7-11 to provide!
We’re relieved that the solution to botched Thanksgiving potatoes is only a 7-11 run away, but we’re going crazy imagining the possibilities of what’s to come — mac-and-cheese machine? Creamed spinach machine? The future is in the hands of 7-11.