We all know what you’re not supposed to eat before sex: the three B's — beans, burritos, and bath salts. They all spell one word: disaster.
But what makes the perfect post-coital snack? Is it something to sensually share with your lover? Or a protein shake in secrecy before heading back to bed?
If it’s to bounce back after a long night or just to regain some strength for another go-around, you’re going to need a pretty good pick-me-up.
Here are what we think are the 10 ideal after-nookie noshes.
A Slice of Pizza: If you are leaving immediately after your tryst, why not go all the way and stop for some extremely pleasurable yet sometimes regrettable calories, too? Nothing says a successful one night stand like a slice.
Fettuccini Alfredo: You’ve already seen each other naked — what secrets are left? Take it to the next, next level by eating the messiest food known to man together (preferably also nude)! There are no secrets between you now. Whilst smacking noodles around and dripping béchamel sauce, meet your paramour’s gaze and say, "THIS IS WHO I AM!"
A Spoonful of Peanut Butter: You want to appear naturally thin with an avian appetite? Shove a tablespoon of Jif in your mouth while your lover is cleaning up in the bathroom. (The technical term is a Jif shot — unless it’s Skippy.) They’ll be none the wiser! And you’ll be packed with enough protein for a second romp in the hay.
Eggs: There’s a fertilization joke in here somewhere, but no matter.
Flaxseed Oatmeal: Congratulations, you just started your day with sex. Now have a very nutritious breakfast and go to work feeling superior to everyone.
Anything You Can Get Delivered, Particularly Something Ordered Without Actually Speaking to Someone: If you have your rhythms right, you can place the order pre-romp and finish up just in time to answer the door suspiciously sweaty. America! All your lazy dreams can come true here!
A Banana or Banana-Based Dish: You need potassium to prevent leg cramps. Dr. Oz would be so proud. Plus bananas. . . you know? Bananas.
A Sandwich: if you haven’t found a way to incorporate it into your lovemaking you might as well enjoy it afterward, right?
Pancakes: At least that’s how Ryan Gosling regains his strength after sex.
The three B's — beans, burritos, bath salts: Now it’s a party! You’ve already had sex so enjoy everything. The world is literally your oyster (but don’t eat oysters, it’s a waste of their aphrodisiacs).
—Cas Colin, How About We
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