Appletini: You've left the kids with a sitter and you're ready to have fun!
Pimm's Cup: You're an Anglophile.
Old-Fashioned: Mad Men is your favorite show — you either want to be, or sleep with, Don Draper.
Margarita, on the rocks: You've decided to have a good time tonight.
Margarita, frozen: You're in Cabo.
PBR: You're drinking quickly on your way to a non-profit fundraiser, followed by a poetry reading in a former industrial warehouse.
Tequila Shots: You're either getting laid, or just getting through it.
Long Island Iced Tea: You have a drinking problem.
A beer, while at a cocktail bar: Overprotective of your manhood or unadventurous.
A cocktail, while at a dive bar: Insufferable.