Anthony Bourdain on His Perfect Woman and Why He Hates James Beard

Here are the highlights of Anthony Bourdain's talk at Saturday's Great GoogaMooga
Anthony Bourdain In his Q&A session for 2012's the Great GoogaMooga.

Anthony Bourdain was the lucky panelist to get two sessions at last weekend's Great GoogaMooga in Brooklyn, N.Y. Although a ticket to the ExtraMooga sessions with Bourdain, David Chang, and more was a hefty $250, at least Bourdain was his angry, quotable self to get the crowd riled up.

Here are the highlights of his Q&A session, where audience members could spin a wheel to get topics like Politics and Religion, Angry, and the boring How Do I Cook That?

On His Perfect Woman: "I like Italian women who can kick the a** of any man in any bar in New York City, with a fondness for Brazilian jiu jitsu... is that the right answer, baby?" (To his wife Ottavia Bourdain in the front)

His One Paula Deen Jab: "When I suggested that maybe her food wasn't the best for you, her response was, 'How can you listen to anybody who eats warhog a**?' Well where I come from, my momma told me when you're in somebody's house, you eat what's offered. Personally, I think there might be some subtext to that. 'He's eaten that warthog a**... in Africa.'"

On the James Beard Foundation: "According to the James Beard Foundation, apparently no Mexicans are working in any of our restaurants. They spend millions of dollars on the house... year after year they’re raising money shaking down chefs all over the country, raising $6.5 million a year, making about $100,000 in scholarships, it's a big circle f*cking jerk as far as I'm concerned. If they would just open a free paralegal clinic for Central American workers, or the people actually doing the cooking... F*ck James Beard. Why don’t they turn that house into something useful like a methadone clinic?"

On How to Best Cook a Unicorn: "Roast the loin, grills the legs, braise the forequarter. The horn you pick your teeth with after the meal. Unicorn marrow, by the way, is delicious."

On Who He Would Like to Cook: "Who would I like to deep-fry? I would like to waterboard Dick Cheney, I would like to waterboard him, then deep-fry his head, then I’d like to f*ck him up the ass, then I’d cook him."
 

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