Three-Step Queso Recipe

I'm not a huge fan of dips. Except sour cream French onion dip. And chopped liver, I like that. And salsa. Hummus is pretty good too come to think about it. And my grandma Helen's caponata. I kind of enjoy tzatziki come to think of it. And queso... now there's a dip.

I'm not from Texas, but then, do you have to be to be in love with queso? Processed cheese, canned diced tomatoes and green chiles, chorizo if you want, and minced jalapeños — that's it. Cheesy, spicy, zesty goodness. It crusts on the bottom of the pot, it coats chips in a way you know isn't just bad for you, but is the basic equivalent of dip pornography. First time I had queso, I was all, "Dude, how do you make this?"

But as any Texan will tell you (my girlfriend from San Antonio included) all you need for queso is Velveeta and Ro*Tel. What's Ro*Tel, you ask? Tsk, tsk. There are few ingredients in the world more perfectly suited for each other. That's an article right there: 10 Most Perfect Ingredient Pairings. Wait, what's the better hed? 10 Sexiest Ingredient Pairings? 10 Predestined Ingredient Pairings? You get the idea. Velveeta? Ro*Tel? Meant for each other. The only thing that makes them pair even better? Spice.

OK, fine. So I like dips. But I'm not crazy about chips. Unless they're homemade tortilla chips. Wait, and those really thin crackers. And Wheat Thins. Do Cheez Doodles count?

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