Ruth Bourdain's Ridiculous Book To Define 'Carniwhores,' 'Gastrosexuals'

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In case you're not getting enough of Ruth Bourdain's sexually charged tweets and posts online, you can now display the poetic prose of the parody personality on your coffee table.

Today, Ruth Bourdain announced her (?) first official book, titled Comfort Me with Offal: Ruth Bourdain's Guide to Gastronomy. Out Sept. 4, 2012, Bourdain's book promises more personal essays, no doubt filled with snarky jabs at food personalities and choice profane words. Chef appearances we're looking forward to? Bourdain teases us with names like Julia Child, Mario Batali, and Gordon Ramsay.

From Comfort Me with Offal (which has been sadly lacking in posts recently) the book will include:

"• A food timeline, from the dawn of man to the modern era
• The importance of celebrity chef hairstyles
• Mind, Body, Palate: Gastro-yoga with Rick Bayless
• Achieving the orgasmic potential of chocolate
• Culinary pick-up lines
• The twenty types of offal you need to eat before you die
• Becoming a 'master baster' on Thanksgiving
• A field guide to the modern foodie, from carniwhores to gastrosexuals
• Essential exercises for bulking up your tastebuds"

Sneak previews school us on the definition of "carniwhores" ("to paraphrase the seminal 1980s rapper Sir Mix-A-Lot, CARNIWHORES like pork butts and they do not lie") and the food lover's Kama Sutra. If that's got you going, you can pre-order the book at Amazon or Barnes & Noble (Amazon's shilling the book for $17.48, Barnes & Noble for $17.11). Check out the cover below, courtesy of Andrews McMeel Publishing.