Composite by Arthur Bovino
International-only product endorsements have long been a way for American celebrities to rake in thousands for what is often little work. (Sometimes they don't have to say anything!) It was fertile enough subject matter to get director Sofia Coppola an Oscar nomination for Lost In Translation ("For a relaxing time, make it Suntory time."). But there are some seriously messed-up, out-there, plain bizarre international celebrity food and drink commercials on the airwaves.
Many celebrity ads (and many of the strangest) come from Japan, which has led one website to collect ads, name, and define the phenomena:
Japander: n. a Western star who uses his or her fame to make large sums of money in a short time by advertising products in Japan that they would probably never use.
Consider Edward Furlong's head attached to a machine selling noodles, Michael J. Fox running around with huge pruning shears to sell a Japanese drink, and David Bowie encountering versions of himself courtesy of French bottled water. This is strange stuff, dangerous even: Watching Arnold Schwarzenegger hawk Alinamin V Energy could irrevocably damage your mental health if you're using psychedlics ("chi chin bui bui!"). If Americans had seen the Arnold in these ads, California might not have elected him governor (you hope.) Check out these and other truly strange international celebrity food advertisements. (Photo courtesy YouTube)
Edward Furlong Sells Noodles
Because nothing says hungry like decapitation.
Michael J. Fox Sells Refreshment
Running around with pruning shears makes you thirsty.
David Bowie Needs to Buy Some More Vittel
When you live with three of yourself you're going to run out of water.
Arnold Sells Vitamins
Truly disturbing. And mesmerizing.
Madonna, Samurai Warrior
Selling a drink, dressed as a samurai, swatting ghosts, says, "I am pure." Uh-huh.
Ewan McGregor Sells Roots Coffee
Take off your clothes. Put on a red suit. "Let's get started." With what?
The Simpsons Sell C.C. Lemon
They're naked. They're drinking C.C. Lemon. The bottles go where their a-hems go.
Stallone Sells Ham
Sy gets off a train. Hugs a man. Has some ham.