1. There is no need to “save room for later.” What later? You’re always ready for food.
2. You struggle with the decision of whether to socialize or to eat. Unless, you know, socializing, involves eating. Then it is ok.
3. You love your food baby almost as much as you would a living fetus.
4. If you forget your snack at home, you have to turn around.
5. All the photos in your phone are of food, and you don’t even care.
6. You don’t get why people stress out about holiday eating. That is how you eat, like, all the time.
7. There is simply no way you can go through a day without snacking. And those who try to make you will be punished.
8. Your idea of a challenge is not grazing while you make dinner.
9. You feel extremely uncomfortable at a party that has zero food.
10. “Are you going to finish that” is not an embarrassing question for you.