Why People Who Don't Eat the Cheese on Their Pizza Are Bad People

Just eat the cheese, it’s pizza!

Photo Modified: Flickr/ Jen Durfey/ CC4.0

Cheese is good. Leave it alone. 

There’s a contingent of people out there who take the cheese off of their pizza before they eat it. We’re not naming names, but they know who they are. If you’re one of these people, stop doing that. Right now.

Why on earth would you take the cheese off of a slice of pizza, even if it’s from a chain? There’s only one reason for committing this abomination: because the cheese has calories, and you’re trying to eat healthy. Well, guess what? You’re eating pizza, and pizza isn’t healthy! Deal with it. Either eat the pizza or don’t, but don’t take the damn cheese off of it first.

You know what you get when you take all the cheese off of a slice of pizza? An oddly mushy triangle of flat bread, with maybe a little bit of sauce left on it and a pile of sad, dead cheese left over. Why would you eat this? You’re not accomplishing anything! And guess what? The bread isn’t healthy either! It has carbohydrates! Run for the hills!

If you’re going to eat a slice of pizza, just eat the damn slice of pizza. Don’t futz with it, don’t obsess over the cheese and its calorie count, just be glad you live in a society where amazing pizza exists and spend a little extra time on the treadmill tomorrow. 

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