There's something about tequila. As you may have noticed. Probably the following morning.
Tequila isn't, ipso facto, any stronger than any other class of hooch. It contains no mystery ingredients with suspect powers (like the wormwood in absinthe). It isn't deceptively sweet or candy-flavored, qualities that might encourage injudicious consumption. Why does it so efficiently seduce us? Maybe it's that slightly naughty south-of-the-border thing. Maybe it's the salt on the rim of the margarita glass — or on the back of your hand when you're drinking shots and sucking limes. Maybe it's even just the flavor of tequila, that addictive, evocative blend of herbs and earth and smoke.
Whatever it is, tequila gets us into trouble — and incidentally, thanks to its reputation, gives us an excuse for having gotten there. But it also inspires us, and above all it inspires music. Tequila songs. There must be hundreds of them (most, but by no means all, of them in the country genre); some even pay tribute to specific brands.
The word tequila itself sounds musical. More to the point, though, the very mention of it summons up the stuff of balladry: deserts, mountains, and the sea; moonlit nights and dimly lit cantinas; sexual adventure; heartbreak. What kind of imagery does scotch summon up? Guys in plaid skirts? When was the last time you heard somebody croon, "It's another Jaegermeister sunrise"?
Just off the tops of our heads, we came up with three dozen songs with "tequila" (or the name of a brand of same) in the title, almost all of them actually about tequila and/or its effects. Here are a dozen of our favorites, in no particular order:
Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. Written by Gary Hannan & John Wiggins; Sung by Joe Nichols
The takeaway: She might come home in a tablecloth.
You and Tequila. Written by Matraca Berg & Deana Kay Carter; Sung by Kenny Chesney
The takeaway: One more is never enough.
Straight Tequila Night. Written by Debbie Hupp & Kent Robbins; Sung by John Anderson
The takeaway: Don't ask her on a straight tequila night.
3 Fingers Tequila. Written and sung by Mark David Manders
The takeaway: When the sun comes up in Mexico it does not make a sound.
Till All the Tequila Is Gone. Written and sung by Eric Stone
The takeaway: She stole my heart, my wallet, my car/and all the tequila was gone.
Tequila Sheila. Written by Don Davis & Shel Silverstein. Sung by Bobby Bare
The takeaway: [P]our me another tequila, Sheila/Take off that red satin dress.
Tequila Loves Me. Written by Arnie Roman & Jon McElroy; Sung by Kenny Chesney
The takeaway: Tequila loves me even if you don't.
Patrón Tequila. Written by Jason Perry, Jamal Jones, & Esther Dean. Sung by Paradiso Girls
The takeaway (G-rated version): We goin' all get real drunk tonight.
On the Tequila. Written by Guy Sigsworth & Alanis Morissette; Sung by Alanis Morissette
The takeaway: Bring on the tequila, oh.
Cheap Tequila. Written by Rick Derringer; Sung by Johnny Winter
The takeaway: Drown yourself in cheap tequila/and flush yourself away.
Tequila. Written by Daniel Flores; Played by The Champs
The takeaway: Tequila!
And here are the rest of our 36 tequila songs, in alphabetical order: