13 Food Celebrity Halloween Masks
Today on The Daily Meal
Halloween — it's a holiday devoted to disguising yourself as someone genuinely scary. Like, say, Todd English. OK, just kidding, but these days, it seems as though most other genres of celebrity have Halloween masks devoted to them. Why not famous chefs and food personalities?
Not scary enough? Take another look at these masks; they resemble an army of culinary zombies out to slurp up the brains of other trick-or-treaters, with or without beurre noir. Still not sold? Try one on! Just click on any of the 13 faces below for full face-sized masks you can print out. Cut along the dotted line, tape a string to either side of the back, or tape it to a wooden kitchen spoon and hold it in front of your face. Practice your chef catchphrases, and Bam! you've got a culinary costume you can wear to Flavor Town, mah brotha. For bonus points, sport the Guy Fieri mask and wear backwards sunglasses. You'll be off the hook.
Accompanying these Daily Meal masks are some great reasons why people should be scared of you this Halloween while you parade around as one of these food cult figures, and some poignant suggestions for how best to pull off your best impressions of them.
RACHAEL RAY The frozen, bone-white smile and the catchphrases ("EVOO," "sammys," "delish," and of course, "Yum-O") should be enough to scare anyone in broad daylight, no less on a dark night, but the effect will have an even greater impact if you do your best gravelly voiced impression of the Food Network star turned daytime talk show host .
ANTHONY BOURDAIN Put on a disgruntled, hungover persona. Be gruff and pithy. For a true bad boy effect, cut a mouth hole and smoke. Prepare off-the-cuff monologues about how authentic/unbelievable/stupid some new/old/rediscovered food/culture/custom is. Be underwhelmed, but wrap things up with a witty, self-aware, semi-sensitive position on food and life. You'll be a scary facsimile of the host of Travel Channel's No Reservations.
TOM COLICCHIO What's scarier than TV's most outstanding soulpatch paired with a bald chrome and cutout zombie eyes? You can't walk around telling people to, "Please pack your knives," because Top Chef co-host Tom Colicchio refuses to say that tagline. But you can certainly intimidate contestants from previous seasons and the upcoming Top Chef Texas crew if you bump into any of them on Halloween.
EMERIL LAGASSE As famous as these other food celebs are, Emeril has many beat. He had his own situation comedy (very briefly) and he's done toothpaste commercials. How to get your Emeril on? Your best move when it comes to intimidating while wearing this mask: walk around chanting, over and over, "Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!"
FERRAN ADRIÀ He's a chef whose career has been frighteningly successful, but Adrià's visage probably isn't likely to scare the average American. This mask will probably be most effective for frightening the hell out of aspiring chefs when they're at work in the kitchen. The last thing they'll expect while trying to get out of the weeds is for their culinary hero to walk through the door. But if you're the kind of person who is going to walk into a restaurant kitchen uninvited you might be scary enough not to need a mask.
GORDON RAMSAY The alleged hairplugs, the intimidating growl, the tough, weathered face — this one's too easy. Put on your best Scotttish accent and just start yelling at people. Don't stint on the obscenities. Bark orders. Stare at people as if they have committed crimes against culinary nature the likes of which you cannot believe. Growl. Try to get your victims to crack, as Ramsay has done on his popular reality TV cooking competitions. It's a persona that might be fun to try on for a night. And you won't have to face the scary number of lawsuits Ramsay has had to over the years.
GUY FIERI This makes the perfect Halloween mask if you think about it: instant recognition of the spiked white(ish) hair, piercings, fire-decal clothes, and complicated matching (dyed?) facial hair. The beloved host of Food Network's Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and NBC's Minute to Win It always just seems like a genuine dude having the best time in the world (though according to a recent Citypages.com article, that image may be more culivated and less friendly than most people think). Either way, his is another fun personality to emulate, and his trademark enthusiasm and energy are sure to garner attention.
MARIO BATALI By all accounts, this chef-restaurateur and TV celebrity just seems like a guy you'd like to party with. Even cutout zombie eyes don't do much to make his cherubic face scary. But he has been in a horror movie (Bitter Feast) and you can envision him as intimidating in the kitchen or as a businessman. With his mask you get instant recognition, and if you don his trademark Crocs, you'll be wearing Halloween colors. "Buon Appett-ee-TO!"
RUTH REICHL The editorial advisor to Gilt Taste has a scary résumé that includes Gourmet and before that famously dressing up in different costumes and wigs to maintain her anonymity as restaurant critic for The New York Times. But don't be fooled! It's not her curriculum vitae that you need fear, nor the mask's leering vacant eyes and teeth-clenched smile. It's the Reichl tweets! They've spawned a James Beard Award-winning parody (see below), and Reichl herself has even gotten a new book deal out of gems like: "Cold sake-steamed chicken, straight from the refrigerator. Pearly flesh smooth as satin. Cats twine hopefully around my ankles. Think not." As Eater has noted, they're daily reminders that Reichl's life is better than yours.
PADMA LAKSHMI The model turned wife of fatwa'd novelist Salman Rushdie turned Top Chef co-host has the honor of saying on the show the most dreaded words that any aspiring cheftestant could hear: "Please pack your knives." But be careful wearing this mask out in public, where she may not have the same intimidating effect. As Gothamist reported recently, at a food-themed reading at The Moth, "one front-row audience member found Lakshmi 'so grating' as a host that he stood up in the middle of her story and vowed to give The Moth $1,000 if she would just shut up already and get offstage...which she did."
MARTHA STEWART She's one of the most powerful people in food, she's spent time in the clink, and if you believe what Alexis Stewart is reported to have written in her new book, even Martha's daughter is kind of scared of her: "Martha does everything better! You can't win! If I didn't do something perfectly, I had to do it again… I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head." Don't fall for the smile! It's food celebrity EV-IL!
SANDRA LEE Cher, Madonna, Cleopatra, Monroe, Hepburn, Streisand — it seems only right that given all the times Aunt Sandy has dressed up in these costumes over the years to celebrate the holiday, that the Food Network's queen of Halloween should get her own mask. And Anthony Bourdain is on the record as calling her the "hellspawn of Betty Crocker and Charles Manson." Like Sandy, you should have a few cocktails (cue video to 1:26), get a friend to wear the Bourdain mask, and recreate the scary face-to-face meeting between the two that he described in his book Medium Raw.
RUTH BOURDAIN There's a reason the parody works. This fictional mashup inspired by Ruth Reichl and Anthony Bourdain's Twitter styles is a scary pairing of food personalities. You could, if you really want to show you're in the know though, just wear a Robert Sietsma mask, as rumor has it, the Village Voice's resident food critic is the real person behind the joke.
Photos courtesy of (in order of appearance) Flickr/John Edwards 2008, Wikimedia Commons/Adriankwok, Craft Restaurant, Macy's, Gerry Dawes, Wikimedia Commons/Allan Warren, The Brooks Group, Gerry Dawes, Ruth Reichl, Wikimedia Commons/Tabercil, Wikimedia Commons/David Shankbone
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