Sometimes we worry about our friends in the public relations business — or at least we hope that they have access to good orthopedic care, since they sometimes seem to tie themselves in knots or bend over backwards or make one of those very long reaches in order to tie some current event or craze into their clients' products. Like this coming Sunday's Academy Awards.
A PR representative for the wines of Rioja stretched off into the distance to come up with the following suggestions for matching the distinguished Spanish region's offerings with various nominees:
• Jennifer Lawrence — At just 22-years old [sic], Jennifer Lawrence’s fresh face and spicy attitude gets us craving a young Cosecha Rioja.
• Anne Hathaway — Hathaway’s worldly Les Mis performance has us reaching for a Crianza. Still young, but with graceful maturity, like the best Riojas.
• Hugh Jackman — Given Hugh’s penchant for musicals, we suspect he would be an entertaining dinner date, like a smooth Reserva.
• Daniel Day-Lewis — Daniel Day-Lewis’s classic, powerful performance in Lincoln calls for no less of a memorable wine… the Gran Reserva.
The Rioja folks seem sort of like pikers, though, compared to Whiskey Blue at W Los Angeles – Westwood, whose PR rep sent us a whole series of "Oscar-themed drinks [that] will allow cinephiles to toast this year's top films as they anticipate hearing those famous words, 'And the Oscar goes to…'"
No mere red wine for Daniel Day-Lewis out Westwood way, for instance, but "The Daniel Day Lewis," described as a "delicious combination of Maker's Mark, Averna Amaro, Crème de Cacao and Orange Bitters [that] will put you in the shoes of the legendary actor portraying this year's iconic Presidential role" (so, what, Lewis has to go barefoot?).
Then there's "The Skyfall," whose combination of Caorunn Scottish gin, apple juice, ginger beer, and lemon "will have you feeling like 007 himself!" (One suspects that James Bond, confronted with this concoction, might be more shaken than stirred.)
That intoxicating lark that was the hunt for Osama bin Laden is honored by the "Oh-Dark-30," whose combination of JM Rhum Blanc Blackwell Rum, grenadine, grapefruit, bitters, and nutmeg will help you "Feel the thrill in your manhunt for flavors." Other drinks pay tribute, of a sort, to Beasts of the Southern Wild, Argo, Les Misérables, The Master, and several other nominated movies.
But wait, there's more: the public relations director for Newman's Own Wines, named of course after the late Oscar-winning actor Paul Newman, has announced a sweepstakes, in conjunction with GBK Productions (an outfit that stages swag-bag parties for the rich and famous) that will actually allow the winner to work at the Academy Awards — next year, and sort of. The lucky person chosen by the administrators of the contest (which may be entered at newmansownwines.com) will get airfare for two to Los Angeles for the 2014 Oscars, three nights in an unspecified hotel, a $500 gift card, a celebrity gift bag, and "two days attendance at the GBK Productions pre-Oscar Awards celebrity gifting lounge to pour wine at the Newman's Own table." Wow. Just imagine. "A little more merlot, Leonardo?" "May I freshen your chardonnay, Angelina?"
There's no business like show business.