A stingy man in West Yorkshire, England, called the police on his cat because it ate his bacon.
“Er, me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon,” the call began, according to the Yorkshire Evening Post.
“What would you like the police to do in regards to that, sir?” the dispatcher asked.
“I want to press charges.”
The dispatcher on the phone asked the man whether he meant his cat or his girlfriend, and he replied, “Both of them.”
The dispatcher then told the man: “Right. Sir, it’s not a criminal offense to let your cat eat your bacon, and we don’t arrest cats.”
The man replied, “No, but me girlfriend allowed the cat to do it!”
Still unfailingly polite, the dispatcher ended the call by telling him, “I’m very sorry sir, but it’s not a 999 emergency (the U.K. equivalent to 911) because your girlfriend let the cat eat the bacon.”