This Horrifying New App Will Let People Rate Fellow Humans Like Restaurants

This Horrifying New App Will Let People Rate Fellow Humans Like Restaurants
This Horrifying New App Will Let People Rate Fellow Humans Like Restaurants

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A one-star review can be devastating for a restaurant. What will it do to humans?

Society may have finally reached the pinnacle of its obsession with rating, reviewing, and ranking everything in sight — or so it would seem with the advent of a terrifying new app that is being called the “Yelp for people.”

If you couldn’t guess what the app will do, the basic idea is that, on Peeple, everyone you’ve ever interacted with will be able to rate you, and everything they like or don’t like about you.

“Peeple is an app that allows you to rate and comment about the people you interact with in your daily lives on the following three categories: personal, professional, and dating,” the app’s website explains. “Peeple will enhance your online reputation for access to better quality networks, top job opportunities, and promote more informed decision making about people.”

In case you were wondering, it’s not possible to opt out of being reviewed, and reviews that are negative or biased cannot be deleted — although you have 48 hours to change the reviewer’s mind about you before such a review goes live. In the company’s own words, “character is destiny.” 

So far, the best thing to do seems to be avoiding the whole thing entirely — if you don’t sign up, only positive reviews of your character will show up on your profile. 

If this doesn’t make you think twice about writing bad Yelp reviews for the wrong reasons — say, for instance, you had a bad day and the waitress didn’t make eye contact, or maintained eye contact for too long — just remember that now, that waitress can find you, and write about you.

Peeple is slated to launch in late November.

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