Kistchy Store Selling 'Salt Made From Tears,' Zombie Mints
Naturally, the store is adorably called Hoxton Street Monster Supplies
Keywords Products, Salt From Tears, Banshee Balls, Kitschy Items
If there's anything rarer than salt that comes from water adjacent to the Dead Sea Scrolls, it must be salt made from human tears.
Novelty store Hoxton Street Monster Supplies (and fundraising front for nonprofit writing center Ministry of Stories) is selling all sorts of kitschy items, like cubed human earwax (from humans fed a strict diet of "Tinned Fear") and Bah! Humbugs. Then there's a stock of Zombie mints, designed specifically to get the taste of rotting humans out of your mouth.
But most impressive (and the best way to fool your dinner party guests), is their selection of human tear salts: Salts from human tears of anger, tears of laughter, tears of sorrow, and tears shed while chopping onions or sneezing. In human flavors, those translate into smoked, lavender, pepper, garlic, and spiced salts.
"Salt Made From Tears combines centuries-old craft with the freshest human tears which are gently boiled, released into shallow crystallization tanks, then harvested by hand and finally rinsed in brine," the website says. We imagine the chopping onions to be the most delicious, and tears of laughter the most enjoyable. Or, as Jezebel notes, you can always poke fun at artisanal-minded guests by noting "tonight's meal is infused with special salt that offers a subtle undertone of sadness."