"Get your nice piping-hot, fresh… carré!” Never underestimate the silliness of British retailers.

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Retailer Forced to Straighten Out Croissants Because Crescent Shapes Make It Difficult to Spread Jam

Staff Writer
U.K. retailer Tesco bows to pressure to ‘straighten’ croissants in response to shifting customer preferences

First we had Gressingham duck-flavored crisps, and now U.K. grocery chain Tesco has announced that it will be straightening all of its croissants as it bends to customer preference.

Even though croissant is the French word for crescent, all Tesco buttery pastries will now be rectangular because 75 percent of customers believe the crescent shape prohibits prime jam spreadability.

“At the heart of the move away from curved croissants is the spreadability factor,” Harry Jones, Tesco’s croissant buyer told The Guardian. “With the crescent shaped croissants, it’s more fiddly and most people can take up to three attempts to achieve perfect coverage, which increases the potential for accidents involving sticky fingers and tables.”

The change is part of a company-wide attempt to revamp and improve Tesco’s pastry selection, but that didn’t stop Twitter users from mocking the absurd decision.

Two other major U.K. grocery chains, Sainsbury’s and Waitrose, have confirmed that they will still say “oui” to the familiar crescent curve. 

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