If you’re serving 100 percent grass-fed wagyu beef on a brioche bun, topped with fresh farmers market greens, David Chang has four words for you: You’re doing it wrong. Chang, founder of the Momofuku empire and James Beard award-winning restaurateur, wrote about his burger gripes in his food magazine, Lucky Peach, in an article entitled “My Burger Manifesto.”
In it, Chang wittily lists all of the things that can possibly go wrong with the seemingly simple concept of a hamburger patty on a bun. This list includes using other cheeses than American (“American cheese was invented for the hamburger”), topping a burger with greenery (with iceberg as an exception), using a brioche bun, serving grass-fed beef (“it’s disgusting. Would you eat a ground bacon burger?”), overcooking the burger, or sticking it in a pita. In fact, he thinks that the perfect burger is, get this: White Castle.
“Considering sheer deliciousness, White Castle might be the best burger out there,” he writes. “It’s a steamed burger, sopped up with juices and grease: a homogenized bite of amazingness.”
Chang is particularly dismissive of Australian burgers.
“Australia has no idea what a burger is,” said Chang. “They put a fried egg on their burger. They put canned beetroot on it, like a wedge of it. I am not joking you. This is how they eat their burger.”
But burger tastes are subjective, and Chang admitted that he may not even know what he’s talking about: “When you catch me eating one of these kinds of burgers that I have spoken against, please know that I am the ultimate hypocrite and that I am probably enjoying the sh*t out of it. Hamburgers are pretty much all good.”