Do you have a cute Irish bartender in your life? Of course you do. Charming bartenders are Ireland’s greatest export.
Of course, if he or she is really cute, then every other American in the bar is going to be drunkenly hitting on them, trying to impress them by ordering a Guinness or whatever.
These people are amateurs. If you’re serious about picking up an Irish bartender (note: this only works with Irish bartenders who aren’t in Ireland). Here’s what you do:
1) Watch this goofy TV Show:
It’s about priests living on an island in Ireland. (I know.)
Look, I’m not going to lie to you, it’s pretty broad. If your dad and brother like Monty Python, they would probably guffaw at this. I’ve always personally found it to be very funny, but I’ve also never watched it alone on my computer on the recommendation of some dating writer, so, that might affect your opinion of it.
It’s available on Netflix Instant, and also disjointedly on YouTube. If you can only bear to watch one episode, make it the Christmas Special ("A Christmassy Ted").
2) Go to an Irish Pub
Do not order a Guinness!! That is trying too hard. Then you will look like a crazy celtophile. Don’t say "Are you from Ireland or something?" to the bartender. They get this 10 times a day. Also, you’re going to be bringing up an Irish TV show in a bit, so don’t make any premature references to James Joyce or Once or anything.