9 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes (Slideshow)
Old Fashioned
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
Thanksgiving Optimist
"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day..."
— Irv Kupcinet
Bird Butt
Family Football
"I like football. I find it's an exciting strategic game. It's a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving."
Christmas Detour
"Thanksgiving was nothing more than a Pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour."
― Augusten Burroughs, You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas
Natural Breasts
"I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts."
Diet Redemption
"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"
Quality Time
"Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often."