All Salads That Aren't Actually Salad Ranking

If there's one thing we know, it's that "salad" is a really loose term. You might immediately associate "salad" with a healthy bowl of leafy greens, but in America, "salad" has grown to mean so much more — and to involve so much more mayonnaise. Tuna salad. Chicken salad. Egg salad. Seriously, no-lettuce salads have probably been fueling the mayonnaise industry for decades.

Despite the excess of fatty condiments, most of these dishes are timeless classics. Think about it. Have you ever been to a barbecue that didn't serve coleslaw? And while biting into a hot dog is fine and dandy, there's nothing quite like plopping an extra helping of potato salad on your plate. Or so some people think. In The Daily Meal office, we began chatting about the best and worst "salads" without lettuce and realized there were strong opinions brewing. So we decided to put our heads together and rank them.

We did a deep dive into the world of salads that aren't, well... salad at all. We included anything and everything considered a "salad" that didn't have a base of lettuce. We uncovered side dishes and desserts — yes, desserts — that we had forgotten even existed. In determining which salads were the best, we considered taste, texture, and nostalgia. We took into account flavor preferences and how much variety a dish could offer. And in the end, this was our definitive ranking, from worst to best, of all salads that aren't actually salad at all.

Oh, gelatin. What travesties people have molded you into. There are many, many takes on the classic 1950s gelatin salad, and each is more grotesque than the last. Why anyone felt the need to float fruit and/or cottage cheese in an amorphous blob of gelatin is beyond us, but we're glad it's no longer a popular dessert food.

Of all the fish salads out there, tuna salad is by far the smelliest. It's also the most popular — unlike the much rarer white fish salad, tuna salad is often stuffed in a sandwich and is a staple of convenience store lunches and cheap eats. We just don't think mayo-soaked tuna from a can is the most appetizing thing you could eat for under five bucks. But some people love the stuff. Just please don't be that guy that brings it into the office.

If you haven't heard of this "salad," you clearly didn't grow up in the Midwest. It's really more of a pie — a crushed pretzel crust makes up the first layer, followed by a middle of sugar-sweetened cream cheese. All this decadence is topped with none other than strawberry gelatin. This is perhaps the only scenario in which the phrase, "Who wants a slice of salad?" makes (somewhat) logical sense.

While carrots make a great vehicle for hummus or ranch, they don't vibe as well with mayonnaise and raisins. And yet, the carrot raisin salad remains a mainstay of picnics and potlucks to this day. It's creamy, chewy, stringy, and sweet — but it's never the most sought-after side at the party.

The first-ever chicken salad, found in a cookbook from 1847, was titled "A Salad to Be Eaten with Cold Meat or Fowl," but we think chicken salad can sometimes just be foul. To make it, chicken (often from a can) is smothered in mayonnaise, mustard, and pickle relish, and then peppered generously. Many chicken salads also include celery and onion for a little crunch. We admit that chicken salad isn't bad eaten on a cracker as an appetizer or in small doses from a good Jewish deli. But a chicken salad sandwich tastes less like a delicious lunch and more like disappointment.

Mediterranean bean salads, Mexican bean salads, a bean salad with a zesty vinegar base. Yum. Where have you bean all our lives?! Beans are tasty, packed with protein, and extremely budget-friendly. But people have taken a few too many liberties in the kitchen and made bean salads soaked in mayo. Don't believe us? There are recipes — popular recipes. But we suppose if you're going to eat the lion's share of a jar of mayonnaise, you may as well get some fiber while you're at it. You know what they say about beans, though: Beans, beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat, the more you...

These are the quinoa salads, farro salads, and couscous salads you might serve as side dishes. The quality of these blends really depends on the chef; some can taste incredibly bland, while others are delightful ways to add variety and color to your plate. Popular mix-ins include beans, crunchy vegetables, avocado, and lots of spices.

A far worse way to eat macaroni than with cheese, macaroni salad is still a favorite of picnic-goers and is almost always served as a barbecue side. Best served cold (no one likes a warm macaroni salad) this dish is all carbs, sodium, and mayonnaise — in other words, heaven for your taste buds.

Coleslaw comes in many forms, ranging from the mostly-white, mayo-soaked kind you can buy from the supermarket to the homemade, colorful variety you might stuff in a fish taco. But no matter what kind of coleslaw you're eating, it's bound to be tasty. Cabbage has such a pleasant crunch! No cookout is complete without it.

Oh you fancy, huh? Unlike the other items on this list with questionable levels of class, caprese is something you might find served at a 5-star restaurant or fancy Italian dinner. Caprese is the only salad that's so good, it's been turned into dozens of other dishes; caprese sandwiches, pizzas, and paninis are par for the course for lunchtime specials. Thick chunks of mozzarella layered with fresh-cut tomatoes and crisp leaves of basil... Are you drooling yet? Add in the heart-healthy olive oil with some pepper and you've got a side dish that would win any party.