Activated Charcoal from The Dumbest Food Trends of 2017 Slideshow

The Dumbest Food Trends of 2017 Slideshow

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The Dumbest Food Trends of 2017

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The Dumbest Food Trends of 2017

Like every year, 2017 had its fair share of food trends, some smart and some dumb. Sadly, the dumb ones were really dumb, and we’d probably be better off as a society if they just went away forever.

Activated Charcoal

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Activated Charcoal

Yes, activated charcoal is nifty because it turns everything it touches black. It also attracts drugs and toxins to it, supposedly removing them from the body. For managing a poisoning or overdose, sure, it can be beneficial (It also counteracts birth control). But your food doesn’t need to look like it came from some ‘90s goth kid’s fever dream. And when TGI Fridays starts adding it its cocktails, you know it’s jumped the shark.

Boozy Milkshakes

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Boozy Milkshakes

Sadly, we’re most likely stuck with frosé for every summer from here on out, but there’s still time to make boozy milkshakes a thing of the past. Milkshakes are so dense that it’s impossible to get drunk off of one, and while it’s fun to add a shot of whiskey to something and call it “adult,” you know what’s even more “adult”? Just doing a shot of whiskey.

Burger Buns That Aren’t Buns

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Burger Buns That Aren’t Buns

For some reason, some people think that replacing a burger bun with an entire halved avocado is a good idea. Fine, it’s low carb. But seriously, an entire avocado? First of all, it’s impossible to eat; just try picking that slippery sucker up. Second, that’s way too much avocado. We shouldn’t have to tell you this, but replacing a burger bun with something else is just dumb. If you don’t want a bun, just don’t eat it.

Cauliflower Rice and Steak

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Cauliflower Rice and Steak

Cauliflower rice isn’t rice. Cauliflower steak isn’t steak. It’s all just cauliflower. And even if you cut it into a thick slab and grill it, it’ll never be a steak.

Funfetti

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Funfetti

Funfetti (known to most people as “sprinkles”) belongs in exactly one place: cake. If you’re putting it in your oatmeal only to spend a half hour finding the perfect Instagram filter for it, you should probably reconsider your life choices.

Novelty Oreo Flavors

Oreo

Novelty Oreo Flavors

Oreos are perfect as they are. Which is why there’s absolutely no reason why the Oreo folks should waste their time coming up with wacky “novelty” flavors like Peeps, waffles and syrup, Mississippi mud pie, “firework,” salted caramel, coconut, jelly doughnut, mocha, apple pie, Cadbury-coated, and “mystery crème,” all of which were released this year alone. Please, just stop!

Raw Cookie Dough

Do, Cookie Dough Confections/Yelp

Raw Cookie Dough

There’s nothing wrong with sneaking a nibble of raw cookie dough every once in a while, or licking the spoon once you’re done whipping up a batch of cookies. But to line up for a full-sized cup or cone of the stuff, then to scarf it down like ice cream? We’ll pass, and you should too.

Smoothie Bowls

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Smoothie Bowls

Keep it in a cup where it belongs. Putting your smoothie into a bowl doesn’t do anything except make it look better on Instagram. But then again, that might be the whole point.

Sushi That Isn’t Sushi

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Sushi That Isn’t Sushi

If you want sushi, just eat sushi. Leave the raw fish out of our burritos, tacos, burgers, and cakes!

Unicorn Everything

Left:Starbucks; Right: Polar Beverages

Unicorn Everything

The most pervasive food trend of 2017 was inspired by a mythical animal. Rainbows gave way to a stampede of unicorns, which left devastation (and millions of colorful Instagram pictures) in its wake. It affected (infected?) everything from bagels to wedding cakes, hot chocolate, Froot Loops, and booze, but the trend reached its zenith (or nadir?) when Starbucks jumped on the bandwagon in April and introduced its Unicorn Frappuccino: “a sweet dusting of pink powder, blended into a crème Frappuccino with mango syrup and layered with a pleasantly sour blue drizzle. It is finished with vanilla whipped cream and a sprinkle of sweet pink and sour blue powder topping.” We’ll pass.

“Will it Waffle?”

Norm K./Yelp

“Will it Waffle?”

Waffle irons exist for making waffles. Just because something will waffle doesn’t mean that it should, and just because something is shaped like a waffle does not make it a waffle. Macaroni and cheese tastes just as good coming from your oven or stovetop as it does coming out of your waffle iron. Good luck cleaning that up, by the way.

Let’s look ahead to 2018 and predict what some of the smartest food trends of the year will be.

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Novelty Oreos

The Dumbest Food Trends of 2017 Slideshow

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