7 Perplexing Food-Flavored Products Slideshow

Blueberry Dog Facial

Assuming you are interested in dog facials, this one seems particularly ill-conceived. When I was little, I was not allowed to have cherry Chapstick because my mom thought I'd lick the flavor off my lips and make them more dry then they already were. What then might dogs do if blueberries were to be lathered all over their faces? They eat day-old chicken wrappers out of the trash.

Chocolate 'Cupcake' Bath Treats

Sticky sweets do not say clean to me. And if you did secretly want to bathe in Hershey's chocolate syrup, would these really suffice?

Gogi-Acai Deoderant

May your armpits also drink from the fountain of life.

Betty Crocker Mango Smoothie Candle

Nothing new about vanilla candles or even fig-scented candles, but when did Betty Crocker officially get into the wax business? Next up: Lasagna incense.

Strawberry-Scented Sink Filter

What if you're cooking something that doesn't go with fake fruit smell? Like 90% of main dishes? Buy one of these, and forever banish the phrase "something smells good" from your kitchen.

Chocolate Yogurt Body Wash

This one surely belongs in the over-21 section of the gift store. There are only 17 things you can do in chocolate and yogurt, and none of them involve getting cleaner.

Sushi Perfume

Bacon perfume, a little strong, but sushi has just the right low notes of seaweed. The company also makes fragrances of birthday cake, waffles, and chocolate chip cookie.