Are Smartphones, iPads, And Laptops Ruining Restaurants?

Jasper White, a member of The Daily Meal Council, was a pioneering "new American" chef in Boston, and is today chef–partner of the Summer Shack restaurants and partner in Georges Bank, LLC, a wholesale boat-to-table seafood operation. 

The other night at my restaurant in Cambridge, I witnessed a baby crying at a table where a family of five was seated. The mother handed a cell phone to the baby, who couldn't have been much more than a year old. It worked; the baby stopped crying. It also broke my heart that a mechanical device could so easily replace the love and affection that the child obviously needed. The cell phone had, in this case, replaced the hug. [pullquote:left]

I started my group of Summer Shack restaurants in 2000, when my kids were 7, 9, and 12. My years of experience dining out with my kids were part of the inspiration for these restaurants, places that are fun and casual, that accommodate large groups, families, and people out to have a good time while eating fresh seafood and other simple foods. At first, I didn't even offer a kids' menu in hopes that families would just order up a bunch of dishes and share. The Summer Shacks have become very popular restaurants, with a good portion of the business coming from families with babies, children, and teens.

I have been in the restaurant business over 40 years now, the first 25 spent in fine dining. Over the last 15 years, I have witnessed disturbing and profound changes in the behavior of the dining public. My vision of families sharing good food and spending quality time together has not come to fruition in many cases. And it's not because of the food or the environment; it is because of cell phones, pads, pods, and laptops — and the hyperactive culture that these devices have fostered.

It is very common to see a family with kids, each operating a cellphone — no one talking to each other — or two parents talking with two kids watching stuff on an iPad or laptop or playing games on a cellphone. This phenomenon is not limited to babies, young kids, and teens. I often see couples (mostly under 50) sitting, one on the phone, the other looking dejected or both on their phones, as distracted as the young ones. And it's not random, it is prevalent.

The short attention span and constant need for stimuli resulting from advanced technologies are stealing the real and potentially meaningful moments from so many lives. Times change; I know that. The two- to three-hour social or business lunch is a distant memory. The three- to four-hour dinners with multiple wines (bottles, not glasses), multiple courses (with time in-between), and clever, complex conversations are all but dead.  Everything is faster and if it isn't, people complain. This doesn't hurt our business. In fact it helps it helps: faster turns, more sales per table.

However, for many chefs and restaurateurs, the motivation to serve others, to add something special to their lives, far exceeds the yearning for money. So it doesn't hurt my business, but it hurts my soul. It is disheartening to see guests focused on their Facebook "friends" when I put a perfect grilled lobster or tasty plate of fried chicken in front of them. I want to see them smiling with joy. I want to hear laughter, not all the weird tones that phones make. I want parents to share meals with their kids and teach them about different foods.  Electronic devices are sucking the vibrancy out of our dining rooms. Dining is being replaced by eating. Fast food behaviors and its low vibrations are creeping into to higher forms of dining.

I'm sorry for those who don't know the difference between dining and eating. I understand that things have changed and I am okay with the shortened versions of lunch and dinner, but doesn't that make the breaking of bread with friends and loved ones even more precious?  I don't understand why it has become acceptable to ignore the people that you are dining with, why emails and messages are treated with such urgency, and why kids need to play games and watch videos during dinner. I probably sound like the 60-year-old that I am. I understand that there is nothing that I, as a chef and owner, or anyone else in our industry can do to turn back the tide that is washing away social etiquette. I find it all to be very sad. I hope that some miracle will bring a higher consciousness to the people we serve and allow us to continue to give them a respite from all the nonsense that they deal with every day. 

Nothing is more important than being fully present for dinner with loved ones, family, and friends.