1. Just because you eat vegetable sushi and California rolls, does not mean you understand the ins and outs of sushi.
When you ask them if they like sushi, they are super excited about it, but then you go out for dinner and they order an avocado roll. So basic you can’t even.
2. If you can’t eat your sushi with chopsticks…you’re not really a sushi lover.
Don’t try to use your hands…or a spoon.
3. No matter how much you try, the sushi you make at home will never be as good as what you can get at a Japanese restaurant.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! I even watched a video on YouTube with an actual sushi chef! It must be because I’m not Japanese. Maybe if I learn the language, the sushi will taste better.
4. Trying to satisfy an urge for sushi with Panda Express or store-bought sushi is like smoking fake cigarettes when you’re addicted. Extraordinarily mediocre.
Good sushi will fall apart in your mouth, whereas the poorly constructed rolls feel like you’re eating a handful of sticky rice. But you do it anyway, because you need it. Now.
5. Japan is so far away and so expensive to travel to, but you will get there…one day.
6. The disappointment when they don’t have sushi.
They have seaweed salad! People don’t even like that! I know this is technically a “chinese” restaurant but, come on. We all know you know how to make it.
7. The price to the amount you receive ratio.
Seriously. $7.65 for eight pieces? You’re killing me. No one is satisfied with that much. Is this a scam to make me buy more?
8. You’re rethinking ever having kids because you can’t eat sushi when you’re pregnant.
At least there’s still adoption.
9. What? There are no holidays when we are supposed to just eat sushi?
We have holidays when you’re supposed to eat turkey, ham, chocolate and cranberry sauce. Is there no room for sushi? Where’s our diversity?
10. The lack of money in your wallet after you binge on sushi.
When you’re spending more than your college tuition on your sushi dishes, you’re probably doing something wrong. Or right.
Not raw enough for you?