The Worst Bar Pick-Up Lines...Ever

Because, really, who doesn’t appreciate being compared to a pair of “hot buns?”
Staff Writer
Worst Pick-Up Lines

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Don’t ever use pick-up lines… especially these.

Another night at the bar: happy hour is in full swing and the crowd is letting off steam with a few drinks and fried appetizers. Singles ready to mingle, ladies chatting over glasses of chardonnay, and the guys are knocking back a few brews. It’s a familiar scene.

All of a sudden, a man with a smarmy smile sidles over to the woman who has been on his radar all night. He has to speak up to be heard over the Top 40 blaring in the background.

“Your dad must be a baker because you have a nice set of buns,” he drawls. Cue eye roll.

Yup, another cheesy pick-up line. Amusing? Perhaps. Effective? We think not.

We’ve all heard them, and maybe have even used them from time to time: One-liners, fraught with mildly inappropriate food similes and innuendos that would make schoolteachers blush, are not just the stuff of bad television. Silly pick-up lines in the bar are often tactless but good for a laugh. They are especially great if one can anticipate the line quickly enough to formulate a killer comeback. To help you prepare for your next run-in with a would-be pick-up artist, we rounded up some of the “cheesiest” food-related pick-up lines to help you stay on your guard and arm yourself with a witty retort should anyone approach you with one of these winners.

Breakfast Innuendo

“You know, I cook best in the morning.”

Oh yeah? I eat guys like you for breakfast. [bare teeth and growl]

Angina Issues

“You must be one spicy dish because you're making my heart burn."

Nothing turns a lady on like indigestion.

You’ll Never Look at Comfort Food the Same…

"You're like noodle soup, I could never pho-get about you."

Pho [cough]

Slightly Cute, Still Creepy

“You look like a bowl of ice cream, I just have to spoon you”

Fork off, before I spatu ya

Refined Exploitations

“Excuse me sir, is your name Earl Grey? Because you’re a hot-tea!”

Tea leaf me alone.

The Confident Casanova

“My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?”

Nope, but they can buy me some drinks with yours.

Clever, so Clever

“I hear you’re thirsty? Well I've got a six pack right here!”

Yep, that’s one six-pack of dinner rolls.

The Flatterer
“I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.”

Looks like you’re over the limit. Next!

Fast Food Approach
“Baby, you got more legs than a bucket of KFC!”

Sounds like someone’s had too many herbs and spices tonight.

Super-Cereal Line
“Is your daddy Tony the Tiger? Because you look grrrrrreat!”

No, but I’m about to turn into a cereal killer if you don’t take a hike.

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