Whole Foods To Sell Live Animals For Slaughter

Reaffirming the popular high-quality supermarket chain's commitment to traceability, Whole Foods CEO John Mackey explains, "If you slit the damn lambie-pie's throat yourself, you know exactly where the chops come from. We'll even give you step-by-step instructions on our new app, 'The Thrill of the Kill.'" In addition to several varieties of heritage-breed sheep, Whole Foods plans to offer living, breathing, organically raised Black Slavonian and Swallow-Bellied Mangalitsa pigs, South African Boer and New Zealand Kiko goats, and, in selected locations, Belted Galloway cattle. Alligator and kangaroo will be added in 2014. To help consumers choose from this array, Mackey has hired 700 specially trained "meat sommeliers."