What Your "Drink" Says About You on a Date

Are you an easy going Bud Light drinker or trying to impress with a Martini?


What you order on a date can definitely send a signal, whether or not it's one you're conscious of. Sure, the list below is mainly full of generalizations, but there's some truth to every stereotype...

Click here for the What Your "Drink" Says About You on a Date Slideshow.

 

Martini: If you're a guy, you're trying to impress (and it's probably working). If you're a girl drinking a dirty martini, you're a hot mess: the dirtier, the messier, the hotter.

Vodka on the Rocks: Too self-conscious to actually order a martini.

White Russian: Obsessed with The Big Lebowski, and probably The Daily Show. Or, you just like to drink dessert.

Bud Light: You're easy going, laid back, and at home at a sports bar. If you're a girl, you know how to hang with the guys.

Stella Artois: You have no particular knowledge or affinity towards beer so you just order "Stella" cause it's familiar.

Lillet/Campari/Aperol: You're twee, and possibly like to throw around words like "mixology."

Vodka Cranberry: When in doubt, you stick to what you drank in college.

White wine: You're definitely a woman. You're possibly a little uptight.

Prosecco: You're often a little uptight, but tonight you're looking to party.

Whiskey, neat: You're hot. Regardless of gender.

Jäger: Secretly wishing you were hanging out with your buddies.

Vodka Gimlet: You're a huge dork, but you hope sort of in a cool way?



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264 Comments

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Sorry,

I liked the idea of the article, but I think it could have been a little more fun. It seems there are plenty of drinks that make me seem "hot" on a date though...

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Nothing says "I need a big strong man more than a man ordering a Mojito".......

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Yeah, because rum, lime and mint are the gayest things in the world, right? Do you think the same thing about guys who drink beer with lime, or soda? Most of the time I see a guy ordering Scotch I think he's trying to act like guys who drink Scotch. And all of the time I see a girl ordering Scotch I think she's trying to act like guys who drink Scotch.

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yes

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I'm sorry, Stella and Bud Light are in the same category of people who don't know anything about beer. Why were there no GOOD beers on his list? I think a craft beer lover (male or female) is quite a distinct personality!

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Seconded. Nothing screams utter lack of real exposure in the foodie scene quite like not paying at least some token homage to the liquid universe that is the craft movement.

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the people here who are commenting take things too seriously. Its a joke and an opinion. Get over yourself.

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You are all a bunch of idiots. This acticle is clearly ment as a joke and it's not like some scientifical study. Ofcourse there is no truth in there, just stereotypes from the writers perspective.

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I agree this person is a moron. I think they were kickin back a bunch of keystone light while typing this deadline.

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Haha I'm a 260 pound heterosexual man and I love White Whine.

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Haha, I'm nearly the same in weight and taste, but I don't even like "respectable" white wine. I like moscato and asti spumante, sweet rieslings. Pretty much wine that tastes like childrens grape juice.

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crapp i shouldnt have been drinking so much dman typos

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Nobody drinks rum & coke anymore???

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I only drink Bacardi and coke. I prefer Bacardi 151 and coke.

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151. I'm with this guy.

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Do you work for Bacardi or something?

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This author is a total idiot.

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Pfft...poofters...drink our version of a brain eraser...

1 shot jager
1 shot gold schlager
1 shot 151 rum

This ain't no mans sippy drink, pound em down and show them what kind of alky you really are.

And an appletini tells me you are J.D. From scrubs.

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If I meet you in a bar, one of us will not survive the night.

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The whole list was pretty lame — either juvenile literalness, like Anglophiles drink Pimms and people drink Tequila Margaritas in Mexico, or overly personal to the writer, like martinis are sexy. (For some of us, martinis remind us of our aunts and uncles, which for most of us are decidely unsexy.)

That is, until the last two, which were spot-on.

Ordering a beer at a cocktail bar is the stuff of ignorant homophobes or someone whose credit card rate was just hiked (or both). Do you go to a restaurant and order a TV dinner or PBJ? Eat/drink what they do best, unless you have some ideological problem with it or a medical reason not to.

And anyone ordering a drink with more than two ingredients at a dive bar is both likely to be disappointed and likely to be a disappointment to others. Again, eat/drink what they do best, and if they don't do anything best, slum it for an hour or two and then suggest another place.

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Boy, have you ever overanalyzed this. I ordered a lot of those drinks before the pop-culture context you refer to even existed, and I refuse to adapt my ordering habits to reflect what TV adicts might or might not be watching. So you could probably correctly interpret any drink I order as a signal that I don't care what anyone else thinks about my drink.

BTW - ordeing a bud light OR a stella shows only that you might not know what good beer is.

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To place a blanket on a cocktail as a simple A is A situation seems to be a rather dull way to view a drink, or anything else for that matter. What about taste? Is a martini still impressive if it's made with a cheap spirit and mixed poorly? Laying such gravity on what a beverage says about the drinker's inner self or intention is a silly, evasive, thing to do. White wine is for women! Do your homework, shame on you. I bartend at a Michelin Star restaurant and then have a highlife and a bourbon after my shift. Does this mean I'm conflicted inside? That I'm on my way to an art opening and then to play my banjo in a field? Thinking so intensely in such a two-dimensional way is unhealthy, you have a duty as a writer to present rounded and open ideas to the public. Shame on you.

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Margarita, frozen: You're in Cabo - or Austin, Texas.

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HEY....How about a man's drink...Scotch Rocks

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Pretty much covered in the whiskey comment -- the rocks part is for pussies

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What a deplorable waste of bandwidth. Not funny, not true, and not a psychiatrist nor a good writer.

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Appletini? Really? What this says to me is, you don't know what makes a Martini a Martini--since there's none of it in an IBA "appletini." In short, anyone who actually orders, let alone drinks, an appletini is a pretentious fool.

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Those who hate this article are probably upset because their favorite drink doesn't match up with how they see themselves.

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Those who like this article are probably stupid.

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What about ice water with lemon?

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