Top 10 Drinking Holidays Slideshow
10. Labor Day
The cousin to the Fourth of July and Memorial Day, it's the last hurrah of summer — and summer drinks.
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): The whole point of Labor Day is that it's a day off, which means that the following Tuesday can get rough. Hopefully, you're smart and just took advantage of Sunday night boozing instead. Total: 4
Strength of the Signature Drink: This depends on what your go-to summer drink is. Beer? Wine? Sangria? Anything fruity? Total: 6
Length of Celebration: One day, thank goodness. Total: 2
Holiday Attire: Your summer best, obviously. Total: 3
Holiday Traditions: Toasting to the fading days of summer... just try not to toast too much. Total: 3
Total score: 18/50
9. Thanksgiving Eve
We're betting the Pilgrims didn't think generations later, Americans would express their gratitude by getting wasted with old high-school friends. The night before Thanksgiving has somehow devolved into a huge drinking holiday that involves drinking with your childhood friends that you sort of forgot existed.
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Hey, there's Thanksgiving Day to recover! And an excuse to hide from your family if need be! But really, we don't condone getting wasted before spending the day with your family expressing gratitude. Total: 7
Strength of the Signature Drink: We hope you're sticking to beers, and not shots. Total: 3
Length of Celebration: One night, fortunately. Total: 3
Holiday Attire: Keep it classy, guys — it's Thanksgiving tomorrow! Total: 3
Holiday Traditions: Drinking too much to avoid the awkwardness of running into that high school best friend you no longer talk to/ex-boyfriend and girlfriend/creeper from English class. Total: 6
Total score: 22/50
8. Fourth of July
I pledge allegiance, to the barbecues, fireworks, and flowing beers of America...
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Fortunately, the amount of barbecues and awesome foods balances out the amount of beer and drinks you consume. But if you happen to love crushing beers and screaming "'Merica!!!!" then you might be a bit dazed July 5. And while July 5 happens to be a Friday this year, that's not always the case. Total: 7
Strength of the Signature Drink: See: Super Bowl Sunday. Thank God for light beers. Total: 5
Length of Celebration: One day, thank goodness. Total: 2
Holiday Attire: Stars and stripes inspire patriotism... and allegiance to our beer-swigging forefathers. (Kidding!) Total: 5
Holiday Traditions: Fireworks, barbecues, parades, pool days, basically everything we love about America. And that includes beer. Total: 6
Total score: 25/50
7. Oktoberfest
Everyone's German when it's Oktoberfest, right?
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Fortunately, there's no one day that's just dedicated to Oktoberfest — so we hope in the name of discipline you're not overdoing it for an entire month. Total: 4
Strength of the Signature Drink: Those German beers will get you, and the environment of a biergarten only encourages all-day consumption. Total: 7
Length of Celebration: See above. It could be trouble if you happen to really love biergartens. Total: 3
Holiday Attire: Surely you're not in lederhosen... in which case, you are probably in trouble. Total: 4
Holiday Traditions: We're told that there's more to Oktoberfest than beer... but really, Oktoberfest is one gigantic party. Consider yourself warned. Total: 8
Total score: 26/50
6. New Year’s Eve
Every New Year's Eve needs a little bubbly, no?
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Well, champagne is known to cause a hangover or two (dang you, bubbly). But at least there's New Year's Day to eat brunch, live by the hair of the dog method — where are those Bloody Marys again? — and sleep it off? Total: 6
Strength of the Signature Drink: Champagne typically has between 9 to 16 percent ABV, but again — bubbles. And we assume that you'll be enjoying other beverages well past midnight. Total: 5
Length of Celebration: It's one night — but unless you're a party pooper, it's a basic guarantee that you'll be up drinking into the wee hours of the morning. Total: 5
Holiday Attire: Party attire! Does dressing up encourage you to drink more? It probably makes the beer goggles a tiny bit stronger. Total: 5
Holiday Traditions: Paying more than you normally would to drink at an open bar, kissing someone (that you hopefully know) at midnight, popping bottles, the usual. Total: 6
Total score: 27/50
5. Super Bowl Sunday
There's no better excuse to drink a lot of beer and watch sports.
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Unless that petition goes through, no way will you ever have Super Bowl Monday off — which means that you're 99.99 percent screwed in terms of hangover probability. Total: 8
Strength of the Signature Drink: We can only hope you're sticking with some sessionable, 5 percent ABV and below beers for the game. If you're drinking more alcoholic beers than that — or taking shots when your team scores — you're in trouble. Total: 9
Length of Celebration: We know how you have to get to the bar, or party, early to reserve your spot in front of the TV. So we know it's one long day of day drinking. Total: 5
Holiday Attire: Football jerseys only inspire bros to drink more. Total: 5
Holiday Traditions: Eating a ton of beer-friendly foods, drinking a lot, getting heated with your team's opponents, passing out from a food and beer coma. Total: 6
Total score: 33/50
4. St. Patrick’s Day
Ah, the day of green, redheads, Guinness, Irish whiskey (oh wait, we like that), and the excuse to kiss anyone Irish.
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Very high, thanks to copious amounts of green beer (hey, it's green! Drink more of it!). And the whiskey — we did mention the whiskey, right? And you never know when St. Patrick's Day will fall in the month (next year is a Monday — watch out). Total: 8
Strength of the Signature Drink: Depends whether you like whiskey or not — and how much more beer you're likely to consume because it's green. At least Guinness is only 4.2 percent ABV. Total: 10
Holiday Attire: So. Much. Green. Total: 7
Length of Celebration: One day, but we've seen those St. Patrick's Day celebrations stretch out into a full week. Total: 6
Holiday Traditions: Wearing green, kissing the Irish, watching parades. Parades encourage day-drinking — and drinking for long periods of time — perhaps just a bit too much. Total: 6
Total score: 37/ 50
3. Cinco de Mayo
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Tequila. Mezcal. Do we really have to explain this much more? No guarantee of work off the next day, but at least some try to celebrate on a Saturday. Total: 9
Strength of the Signature Drink: We don't know how many more times we can say tequila and mezcal without becoming a broken record. The spirits are at least 80 proof, so we know how this story ends. Total: 9
Holiday Attire: Sombreros, ponchos, fake mustaches. Read: "How to offend just about anyone with ties to Mexico." Total: 9
Length of Celebration: One day, fortunately. Total: 2
Holiday Traditions: Generally, Cinco de Mayo is celebrated with parades and historical significance. Perhaps unfortunately, those traditions are usually pushed to the backburner in favor of margaritas and guacamole. Total: 10
Total score: 39/50
2. Mardi Gras
Time to let loose before Lent — who's with us?
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): If you're living in New Orleans, we assume that the month of March is just one long hangover. (Scratch that — we think the whole year is one big hangover if you live in New Orleans.) But the hangover might correlate with just how big your city (and bars) does it for Mardi Gras. Total: 6
Strength of the Signature Drink: Remember the Hurricane? Yeah, we don't remember it either. But some of the other signature NOLA drinks can also pack a serious punch, like the Sazerac. Total: 8
Length of Celebration: There's a reason it's called Mardi Gras or Carnival season, and the party culminates in one giant Fat Tuesday celebration. Total: 10
Holiday Attire: Well, we hope you're wearing more than beads, that's for sure. Total: 10
Holiday Traditions: We won't explain the bead-throwing traditions, but there are floats involved (depending on where you live). Total: 6
Total score: 40/50
1. Halloween
Hide yo' trick-or-treaters, hide yo' wife — it's the booziest holiday of the year.
Guarantee of a Hangover (and No Guarantee of Work Off the Next Day): Yep. You will be hungover. There's no avoiding it. (Unless you have children. For the love of god, protect the children from the horrors of Halloween — and we don't mean the ghosts.) Total: 10
Strength of the Signature Drink: No signature drinks, just too many drinks. Total: 8
Length of Celebration: It depends on what stage of life you're in. If you're in college, Halloween = the entire month. If you're older, it may be one horrific night that reminds you why you can't drink like you did in college. Total: 10
Holiday Attire: We don't really need to explain this, do we? Total: 10
Holiday Traditions: Making poor decisions in the spirit of spooky things. And eating a lot of candy. At least there's candy. Total: 8
Total score: 46/50