Ted Cruz Wins Big in Wisconsin, Despite Refusal to Wear Cheesehead Hat

Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz won in Wisconsin, declares his love for ‘all cheese’ but not cheese hats
Staff Writer
The way to voters’ hearts is through their gouda.

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The way to voters’ hearts is through their gouda. 

Ted may have cruz’d his way to victory in Wisconsin, but not without a gaffe where the Republican presidential hopeful refused to wear the famous Wisconsin cheesehead, according to NBC News.

Apparently there’s a reason for his naked noggin though:

"There is an iron-clad rule in politics which is no funny hats," he said during a rally. "And any hat by definition is defined as a funny hat. Michael Dukakis demonstrated that powerfully when he put on a helmet and rode in a tank. And so I will cheer on the hats of others."

Cruz tried to redeem himself by saying that he likes all types of cheese and prefers to pair cheese with more cheese or at least, “a pint of Guinness, poured slow.”

And when asked by reporters if, when he took the White House, “Every day would be a ‘big block of cheese’ day” he said, “"That is very tempting. I'll have to think about that seriously."

Apparently Wisconsin constituents thought Cruz was more than just a curd, as he secured a decisive victory last night with about half of the votes.

In response, Trump’s people released a statement that many are calling juvenile, or the “mark of a sore loser:”

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