In a recent submission to Dear Prudence, the advice column from Slate, a stressed out office worker seeks advice on what to do with the miscreant who will not stop stealing his coworkers’ lunches.
“We’ve tried putting notes and signs on our lunches asking people to please leave them alone,” the employee explains.
“We’ve spiked our lunches with hot sauce or pepper in an attempt to make them unappealing (which also leaves them inedible for us), but the lunch thief has still been striking a couple of times a week.”
It’s not just an average case of passive versus aggressive confrontation, either — after one victim set up a hidden camera, the group discovered that the thief was the CEO of their company.
“Should we turn him in, or destroy the evidence and invest in insulated lunch boxes instead?”
Prudence is sympathetic, and even suggests a hidden penchant for embezzlement, but cautions that since it is the CEO’s company, there’s little do except invest in an insulated lunch box and keep it in a desk drawer.
Behold, the disastrous power that the sad desk lunch hath wrought. If anything, this should be a lesson to everyone about the value of leaving the office during lunch hour.