A Couple Eating in Whole Foods Might Have Broken Up Over Kale

A New York City resident shared a priceless exchange between a couple on the outs

‘Who breaks up in a Whole Foods Cafe?’ a young woman next to them wondered to her mother

This week, a submission to Metropolitan Diary — a segment of The New York Times in which readers share details of the strange things that happen to them during any given day in the city — revealed the frailty of a relationship based on trendy foods.

Submitter Susan Phillips’ daughter was eating in a Whole Foods before an appointment, and was suddenly witness to the not-so-private life of a couple whose relationship had recently soured.

“There’s a couple sitting next to me who are breaking up as I type…” Phillips’ daughter texted her.

“This is very awkward.”

She muses, “Who breaks up in a Whole Foods Cafe?”

We don’t know, but given the popularity of the grocery chain, and the fact that it has a sit-in dining area, it’s not unlikely that a few relationships per year have unraveled on the premises.

“They’re shockingly passive-aggressive,” the daughter writes “Like, if you’re angry enough to break up in Whole Foods I’d expect this to be a bit more dramatic. They have sushi, but they’re both just aggressively picking at it with chopsticks.”

Susan advises her daughter to give them a dirty look and move elsewhere, but then things get “super Whole Foods-y.”

One half of the couple apparently makes a dig, and the scene ends with this great accusation: “You’re just saying that because I don’t like KALE!”

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