“The pork. belly. last. night. was. horrendous.” Soup is returned because it’s not the right temperature, wine pairings lacking “nuance” are rife, and if the meal does not begin with two pounds of freshly steamed mussels, you’re in for disaster. Since the snob has not used his own kitchen, keep your mouth shut and enjoy the fact that when the food apocalypse comes and his favorite restaurant can’t import raw Danish butter or the barolo anymore, he’ll be asking you how to make eggs for breakfast. Rx: Let him pick up the tab.