Just in case you wanted to dive headfirst into the world of Yelp (and this "Should I Trust This Yelp Review?" infographic isn't deterring you), there is now a book to help you write a Yelp review like a pro. Seriously.
Eater gives us the rundown of Yelp Help: How to Write Great Online Restaurant Reviews, a book from food critic Hanna Raskin to teach civilan eaters how to find their "voice." The e-book itself is $2.99 for 79 pages on Amazon, and it promises to help reviewers "write clearer, fairer reviews."
There are tips on "choosing the right adjective and describing dishes in objective detail," with "copious excerpts frmo professional and civilian reviews; a review meal checklist; an overview of the eight most common online reviewing errors and handy practice exercises." It's like a school workbook, except for Yelp, with popularity contests and angry teachers. Exercises reporteldy include printing out reviews, highlighting cliches, and then vowing to never write those cliches, ever. We wonder if there's a practice exercise on tweeting like Ruth Reichl, or a chapter on "how not to piss off the chef" (namely, don't show them this Reviewer card).