Beer Drinking 101: What You Need To Know To Impress Your Date
One of the best things I've ever done for my dating life was to randomly develop a taste for very hoppy IPAs. I started drinking them mainly because my uncle always does, and I soon started liking them myself. Last summer, I went for an after-work drink with a male colleague to a grizzly beer bar in the neighborhood. The bartender took one look at me and spat out, "We don't have any light beers."
"That's okay, I want an IPA, the hoppier the better," I said.
"Ooooh, this one here knows what she's talking about!" he responded, and happily gave me a pint on the house.
The truth is that I don't know a lot about beers: I know one kind, and one descriptor. But that's basically been enough for me to hold my own in a variety of beer gardens and bar situations ever since — and it's impressed a hell of a lot of dates. Just as a cursory knowledge of wine can be a great asset in the dating world, knowing a thing or two about beer — enough to hold your own in a beer-drinking environment — can really give you bonus points.
To learn some beer basics, I headed to the Whole Foods Bowery Beer Store in New York City and asked Jesse and Isaac, two very obliging beer experts, for a basic rundown. Here's what you need to know.
1. "What's 'Malted'?" (Or, How Not to Sound Like an Idiot on a Date in a Beer Garden)
You're spending a nice summer evening outside in a beer garden, getting to know someone under twinkling lights and over a pint of... whatever he or she brought you. You take a sip. Your date looks at you expectantly.
"It's good!" You say. "Yeah, not too malty?" Uhhhhh. Time to learn some common beer vocab:
Hoppy: Bitter
Floral: Sweet, multi-toned notes.
Dry: Not sweet.
Sessionable: A certain "je ne sais quois" which makes a beer (typically one that is low in alcohol) extremely drinkable. (Yes, seriously.)
Malted: Tastes like malted milk (minus the milk).
Bready: Literally, tastes like bread. (Beer vocab is way easier than wine vocab, no?)
As far as descriptors go, there are two main ways to describe a beer: light vs. dark, hoppy vs. malty.
A beer that's light can't be dark, just as a beer that's hoppy can't be malty. If you're just starting to develop your beer palate and want to avoid stronger flavors, try a wheat beer (light and malty).
2. "What type of beer should I keep at my house for impromptu 'Would you like to come up for a drink?' occasions?"
You want to be the type of person who always has a six-pack cooling in the fridge, just in case. Cool, but... a six-pack of what? A nice Belgian wheat beer, because it's accessible, a little sweet, light, and easy to drink. Try: Avery White Rascal
3. "What's a beer that will really impress beer snobs?"
You're dating a beer enthusiast, who likes nothing better than to sample and taste a variety of beers from around the world. You want to prove that you've been doing your research. What to order?
Try: Saison Farmhouse Ale, which "is a warmer weather beer but available year round, and considered to be pretty sophisticated."
Remember, what's on draft is never really that impressive unless you're actually at a beer garden. So if you like Stella or Blue Moon, by all means order it: but if you're specifically trying to impress your beer-loving date, get a bottle of something else or ask for the bartender's rec.
4. "I hate beer, but my date loves it and I want to be a good sport. What kind should I try?"
Beer? Gross! Bitter! Ick! But you're still probably going to end up socializing over the stuff at some point or another. Here are some suggestions on what to order.
. It's available all year, most bars have it, and it comes in accessible flavors like apricot, which most people like.
Otherwise, if you like sweet, ask the bartender for a brown beer. It's sweetier and maltier than other beers. If you prefer not-sweet, ask for a pilsner, which is more bitter.
(HowAboutWe's editor — and resident beer-hater — Michelle Dozois swears by Lambic, which tastes like a less sweet version of cherry soda. Great option to pick up at the store, but not always available in bars.)
Now you know enough to hold your own on dates — and hopefully, you'll discover a new love and appreciation of beer yourself, whether you're dating someone who enjoys it or not.
— Chiara Atik
Click here for more from The Date Report.
Related Links:
"Stick with Labels You Can Pronounce," And Other Tips for Ordering Wine on a Date
8 Really Unattractive Things Guys Do When They're Drunk
Guys, Girls! Can We Just Get One Thing Straight About Buying Someone a Drink?