8 Foods Not to Cook Naked

Connecting with your body, food, and the earth is a beautiful thing, but there are just some things that should not be done naked


Cooking naked could be said to be a freeing act: one where you let go of your inhibitions to connect with your body and the food you eat. You become enraptured in the art of cooking and begin to appreciate your food with a new profound sense of self-awareness — smells, sounds, and tastes are more pronounced. Or, it could be a masochistic, silly experiment where you only inflict pain on yourself.

Click here to see the 8 Foods Not to Cook Naked Slideshow

In case some of you soul-searchers, freethinkers, or adventurous eaters are looking to try this out, we drew up a quick list of foods that you should definitely not make when cooking naked.

Know of other foods that shouldn't be cooked naked? Or had a bad experience of your own? Share with your fellow cooks!


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57 Comments

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who even WRITES stuff like this? If you cook naked, you need a SERIOUS sanity check.

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wowwwww this wasted about 5 minutes of my valuable time. Thanks, world!

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To all the haters, no one forced you to read this story, so shut up already

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This woman is a moron. You should be banned from ever writing anything anywhere. This article just goes to prove that once again that the whole world is going down the tubes. Only idiots cook naked

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DUH!!!!!!!!

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I love frying sunshine and cloud eggs in hot olive oil; ditto pan roasted quartered potatoes - love the splattering aromas; but never to be done when standing naked at the stove!

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Seriously? THIS many people never cooked while naked?! Sheltered lives... anyway, I was probably 20 when I found out that making my man bacon first, er, second thing in the morning was a bad idea.

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Cooking ( the use of heat ) should be done with care. Desert however should mostly be done in the buff! Chocalate. whipped cream, nuts, fruit, yummy.

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its dessert not desert.

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Yasmin, if you are scratching your orifices while cooking then please never invite me to lunch! Clothed or not!

Lennie Ross's picture

I don't cook naked that often, but I have to admit, I have burned myself from doing so. Avoid anything deepfried.

Lennie Ross's picture

Avoid anything spicy

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i believe a certain matt preston advised against making mango jam naked. it is one thing that the jam may spit, and quite another when the hot and long mango fibres whip the skin as the jam spits away.

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WHY? Why would anyone even WRITE an article like this? It's ridiculous in the extreme. I have never been tempted to cook in the nude...in fact there are only TWO things I do in the nude...one is taking a shower. Clothing is my 'security blanket'. I've never been comfortable walking around 'nekid'. Not even when I'm alone. Since my gfs and I share just about everything, I'm sure I'd know if THEY ever cooked in the nude, and since nobody has mentioned doing THAT particular thing, I'm pretty sure not even the most 'risque' of my friends has done it. It's just STUPID. I'm sure my hubby would lose his appetite if I actually cooked in the nude...AND I look pretty damn good. It's the hygiene that would bother us. Well, I wasted time reading the article, then even more leaving a comment. I guess this article has served its purpose after all.

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wow, people do that ?

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Waste of electrons.

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only real men cook baccon shirtless!

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This was silly and only for amusement in my mind.

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Cooking naked ? Well just imagine walking into a McDonalds and seeing everyone behind the counter cooking and taking orders. Kind of a scary thought !

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Cooking Naked ? Well never thought of it before but I would say deep frying a turkey in the buff is a risk not worth taking

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for some reason my fish dose that... it's weird, sometimes. Can fish splatter like that? Like it cooks like bacon it splatters everywhere!

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Bacon should always be cooked in the nude. Prevents you from turning up the heat too high. If it's spattering, you're ruining it.

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Live crustaceans such as lobsters could also be hazardous

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Your answer is hysterical!

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I personally know of a couple who were cooking when their hormones overtook them. In the middle of their naked fun, the male realized that they were burning their meal, so he jumped up to take the pan off of the stove. He failed to hold the pan up high enough, and as he walked from the stove to the sink, his little friend bounced up and made contact with the bottom of the pan. OUCH! Thus ended their naked fun!

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This is a real website? Really???

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People amaze me. This article and the need to put it on the internet for people to read because they don't know that when you cook stuff it gets hot and burns you proves me correct for another day. People can be and are stupid.

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If you must scratch unnamed orifices at any time,in the kitchen, you should be in the bathroom applying some type of ointment,cream or powder. Wash your hands real well afterwards. I know you need to be reminded if you are a slob. This article was/is a waste of web space.........

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It's truly SAD ppl r soooo ignorant that this page was needed! Dee, dee,dee

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Chillies - Bird's Eye Chillies - they are hot in the mouth, in the eyes, on the lips, and the "other places"

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