Ah, wedding season. The time to put on your classiest outfits and get ready to sip Champagne and nibble petit fours — the big day most brides and grooms have been planning for months or longer. And, more often than not, they’ve also been working hard at the gym and cutting back on extra calories to look their best. So why blow it all at once like Princess Zara and her rubgy-playing new husband Mike Tidwell did? All stops were pulled for this second royal wedding of the year with decadent offerings like lobster and crayfish cocktails, roast vension with a rich potato dauphinoise, and creamy martinis. Sure, there was an abundance of bubbly if you chose not to down the milkshake-like cocktails, but other healthier alternatives like roast vegetables were nowhere to be found. Hopefully guests had some elastic-waist pants to wear the next day — they certainly were going to need them after that indulgent feast!
When Survivor alumni Jaime Dugan and Erik Huffman tied the knot, they offered guests a Southern-style feast of unparalleled, unhealthy proportions. Guests were treated to a lavish spread of dishes like fried turkey, Chinese food in takeout containers, fried green tomatoes, mac ‘n cheese, and shrimp and grits. As if that weren’t enough, they finished off the night with a candy-shop spread of candies like M&Ms and rock candy that guests could indulge in. And that was in addition to the multi-layered wedding cake made of carrot and pound cakes covered in almond-buttercream frosting. It seems the couple was hungry after Survivor: China. We hope they didn't plan to be honeymooning on a beach afterwards.
OK, you say — maybe TV stars who once roughed it overseas can afford to splurge on a feast of favorites on their big day. But what about the athletes and gorgeous women who grace the pages of Sports Illustrated? Surely they tone down the richness factor on their wedding day, right? Not necessarily we’ve found. Take the gorgeous pro tennis player and supermodel duo Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker, for example. For their 2009 wedding, sauce-slathered Texas barbecue and creamy coleslaw dominated guests’ plates. But there must have been something a bit lighter and more nutritious in there somewhere — after all, the bride was zipped into a form-fitting dress without any extra room to spare.
Then there are the celebs — including Kelsey Grammer and Katharine McPhee — who served short ribs at their weddings. The tough pieces of meat are slowly braised in rich red wine until the meat falls off the bone and all the fat melts down into a rich sauce. It’s not something for the faint of heart. Sure it’s decadent, but why not go for something just as indulgent but a whole lot leaner like filet mignon or roast tenderloin? And really mixing things up were Beyoncé and Jay-Z, who kept it classy with Beluga caviar but kept it real with Popeye’s fried chicken. Fried chicken?!
As schizophrenic as it sounds, the celebrity wedding scene definitely seems to have trended toward down-home decadence. Ironically, it is these celebrities who can afford personal trainers to work off festivity fat. But for the rest of us who have spent months cutting calories just to fit in that dress, blowing months of hard work on one meal isn’t an option. Sure, you can still follow your dream of tying the knot in Vegas just like Pamela Anderson — but instead of noshing on nutritionally-inferior pigs in a blanket and donut holes, why not choose something less rich so you can actually fit into that tiny bathing suit on your honeymoon?